Eloquent and Brave

Dear Taylor Swift,

        I can honestly say that I’m having an identity crisis when it comes to you. The more closely I listen to your music, the more I realize how judgmental you are. It confuses me because I hear about and read all of these stories about how sweet you are to your fans. You try to send positive messages to younger girls not to let people hurt you. At least that’s what you think you’re doing. Underneath the layers of encouraging lyrics lie themes that are anything but helpful. You slut shame, you judge other girls for dressing a certain way and by the clubs and sports they participate in thereby perpetuating harmful stereotypes. You try to put forth a squeaky clean, wholesome image that’s marketable to your younger fans. I’ve seen many interviews with you and from what I can tell, I don’t think you realize how harmful some of the messages you send through your music are. From what I’ve seen, you’re genuine and personable. I think that you mean well, but it gets lost in some of the bitterness that some of your past experiences have left you with.

            I will admit that I do enjoy some of your songs, I will not deny that. Unfortunately, I have a hard time sitting down and enjoying them. My perception of your music has been tainted by such songs as You Belong With Me, Better than Revenge and Fifteen in particular. I feel that these songs perpetuate unfair stereotypes of women and internalized misogyny, allow me to break it down for you,

You Belong With Me:

            “She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers”

            “She wears high heels, I wear sneakers”

First off, so what? My apologies, but I’m having a hard time understanding how what you wear in comparison to another girl makes you better than her. Short skirts & high heels do not equate sluttiness any more than t-shirts & sneakers equate purity. I have a feeling that you were merely trying to encourage girls who have feelings for seemingly untouchable guys not to get too down on themselves about it. Unfortunately, it comes off as self-righteous and condescending. Honestly in the context of the song, her appearance, music taste, sense of humor and sport of choice (shut up, I do believe that Cheerleading is a sport) make her public enemy number one. She is who she is, just as much as you, Miss Swift are who you are. She is more than allowed to not find certain things funny, dislike a certain type of music, wear whatever the hell she wants, and Cheerlead all over the freaking place.

 I’m not denying that you were trying to encourage girls who don’t feel like they fit in to be strong. All I have to say is that hardly anyone feels like they fit in in high school. The object of your disdain probably feels the same on some level. Unfortunately, the music video for this song only reinforces the negative portrayal turning her into the antithesis of you. I find that a bit self-righteous to be completely honest, that any girl who doesn’t hold your specific set of values is a deplorable human being. Sometimes I wonder if you even considered that she isn’t the only one at fault in your love triangle. Did it ever cross your mind that your golden boy is just not interested? You might not be his type, how is that his girlfriend’s fault? It pisses me off to no end when say (using letters and gender neutral words because people do this regardless of gender), Person A and Person B are in a relationship and Person C likes Person A. Person C feels jealous of Person B for being in a relationship with Person B and feels resentful toward them for the mutual actions of Person A. My issue with this being that Person A and Person B chose each other and one person should not take the entirety of the blame for this string of events. Hell, no one should be blamed when two people get together and a third person lost out. We can’t help who we’re attracted to any more than we can help who we are not attracted to.

Better Than Revenge:

“She’s not a saint and she’s not what you think, she’s an actress, she’s better known for the things that she does on the mattress”

I’ll lead by saying overall that this song is relatable in that sometimes this happens. Sometimes two people are in a relationship and someone else comes along and that relationship falls apart. I have two issues with this song. First, I have an issue with the fact that once again, the girl is blamed for the crumbling of the ENTIRE relationship. Granted in a situation like this, she should share part of the blame, but the guy is just as much at fault. She didn’t ‘take’ him as it were. She disregarded his relationship with another girl and pursued him anyway, but he gave in and that makes him just as much to blame. Taking shots at her and treating the guy in the equation like a human shaped block of stupid with no will of his own is unfair. Clearly for whatever reason, he chose the other girl. It takes two to cheat, which is an inexcusable act. Either way, it’s not solely her fault for the loss of the boyfriend.

Issue number two is with the snip-it of the song that I posted. When I read/hear this particular string, what I glean from it is “She has a lot of sex, is therefore a slut and everyone knows it and you’re stupid for picking her”. From my observation, I’ve determined that your definition of a Saint is someone who again is a pure, innocent virgin. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being pure, innocent and virginal, but my issue lies within the idea that these attributes make a person better when all it does is make them different. The two who caused your sadness, Miss Swift are equally at fault. Neither of them made good decisions and both should be held accountable for their actions, not just her.

Fifteen:

“I always swore I was gonna marry him someday till I realized some bigger dreams of mine and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind and we both cried.”

Another tumblr user wrote a very wonderful letter about this song already, but I figured I’d give it a shot too. I understand that this song was supposed to be about going to high school and the experiences all teens have. I can’t help but notice that again (see a common theme? Anyone, Anyone?) purity is placed on a pedestal while anyone who does not keep that purity is made to feel ashamed. Overall, I do like this song, it’s this section that bugs the crap out of me. This section is why this song is unlistenable for me now. Abigail had sex with her high school boyfriend, so what? Yes, it sucks when you have sex for the first time and that person doesn’t end up being “the one” as it were. My belief about sex is that marriage isn’t a requirement, I believe that if you and the other person truly love each other, then having sex is just fine. The only unfortunate thing is when the relationship doesn’t end up working out. People change and regret is understandable, but that regret should be fleeting. In my opinion if you loved someone even if only for a few years or months or whatever, that you followed what your heart felt at the time. Just my opinion, that’s all this letter and my previous statement are. I am just as entitled to believing what I do as someone else is to believing something completely different.

That concludes my analysis of these songs and honestly Miss Swift, I’m afraid of what I have discovered. As I said before, from what I have seen of your interviews, you seem genuine and unaware of the types of messages you’re sending in some of your songs. Either that or you’re a really good actress. I prefer to see the good in people and I do believe that you mean well, but that you don’t always go about it in a constructive way. In these songs you are perpetuating negative stereotypes that are harmful to women. Dressing a certain way and enjoying sex do not make a woman a slut. Miss Swift, this is very serious and I am afraid for all women that the internalized misogyny will worsen. Nothing troubles me more than the word ‘slut’ showing up on my dash and in conversations that I overhear. I’m not blaming you for the entire problem of misogyny. I hope that you don’t misunderstand me. We are in a society that allows these stereotypes and female hatred to fester like a rampant wound. When you grow up with that kind of society, it is hard to rise above it and realize just how fucked up it is. At some point in our lives, we have all in some way acted in a misogynistic manner, usually in naivety. I hope that this letter helps you to see the big picture. This letter is merely to help you see that society has created the convincing illusion that misogyny is acceptable. Miss Swift, I fear that we, all of us are in serious trouble. Things need to change. The key is educating as many people as possible in this area. I mean only to help you so that you can help others.

Sincerely yours,

Kristin

*braces self for the onslaught of many internet trolls*